Frustrated, then relieved.

Nathan and I had an ultrasound scheduled for this past Tuesday. My doctor is out of town this week, but they still had to do a 12 week ultrasound. It HAS to be during your 12th week because they do special measurements and blood work to test for Down's Syndrome.

When we showed up on Tuesday, my appointment was "lost". Not in the system. Then they told me I wasn't far enough along to do it at that point. I needed to come back on Thursday. By my doctor's calculation, I should have already been 12 weeks, but they sent me home anyway.

I re-scheduled for Friday, and even called ahead to confirm that my appointment wasn't lost. When I showed up, a rude receptionist said I couldn't have an ultrasound without seeing a physician, and no physicians were available to see me. She was going to send me home, and have me come back the next week.

Luckily, she was too busy/lazy to deal with me, and passed me on to someone else. Someone who was pregnant, and understood that I couldn't miss my 12 week ultrasound. The only alternative if I miss would be an amnio (long needle right through my belly). Thankfully, she called my doctor, and they fit me in. They also gave me a gift card for a free facial for the hassle. Thank God my mom was with me so I didn't have to feel frustrated all alone.

Well, the ultrasound measurements came back normal, but I'll have to wait for the blood work. I was considered "high" risk for Down's last time, so I'm half expecting it again this time. I'll keep everyone posted. Here is the ultrasound pic from my last visit.

Health Care - One Mother's Perspective

So, I hate to get political on the internet because I feel it is a personal decision, but I am also very saddened by some recent posts of my facebook friends. I hope my opinion isn't seen as an attack, but rather a justification of my beliefs and views. An appeal to your emotion - Let's just start with a story. If I saw a dog on my street, maybe limping, very thin, obviously hot; I might not take him in, but I would at least provide some water. No judgement. I wouldn't think, "well he got himself in this mess, he should get himself out." But when it's a person, we (including myself) seem so quick to judge. As if they deserve to be where they are in life. I know that I've worked hard in my life, but I've also made more than enough mistakes. I don't believe my actions are 100% the reason I am where I am. It also took a little bit of luck. So now I'd like you to picture yourself as a mother or father of two. And one child gets very sick. So sick that you sell all your posessions and re-finance your home to pay for the hospital bills. You have health insurance, but it's not enough. And this child needs an operation. One that you can't afford. Even if you know it will cost taxpayers' money, you would do anything to save your child, so you schedule the surgery at a PUBLIC (not private) hospital (because you can't pay). While these doctors were great, this child couldn't survive. You are devastated. Your spouse is devastated. You cannot work and neither can they. It takes all the effort you have to be a parent to your remaining child. You have no money; all you have is each other. And you don't want another second to go by without soaking up all the love of your remaining child. And you don't have health insurance. I hope that I, nor any of my friends/family are ever in this situation. But someone's friend/family is. And for them, I wish for something better. I pray that their remaining child doesn't get sick while they are without insurance. An appeal to your wallet - My best friend is a doctor working at both public and private hospitals. When you don't have health insurance, you cannot just walk into a Kelsey Seybold and see a doctor. You may be able to find a free clinic (if you have transportation and are willing to wait hours if not days). So if your child has a cold, you probably wouldn't take them to the clinic. It's just a hassle. Maybe this cold moves into their chest. And they're coughing and having a hard time sleeping, some difficulty breathing. You may justify skipping the doctor because the fever is under 102 degrees. But then, a week later, they're wiped out. Heavy fever, green snot, can barely open their eyes, straining for breath, and no excuses can be made. You take them to the emergency room at a public hospital. They are admitted to the hospital for three days to clear up the pneumonia. Do you suppose that if the parent could pay, they would have gotten their child to the doctor at the stage of the cold? If not, at least at the level of bronchitis. The cost to the insurance company (or taxpayers) would probably be less than $500 at either of those points. But if they wait until they ABSOLUTELY have to go see a doctor, what do you think that cost is? I've been in the hospital, and it was at least $5,000/day. While in the short run, healthcare for everyone may be an expense to taxpayers, in the long run this may actually reduce the healthcare burden taxpayers are already paying for. Yes - we're already paying for those who can't pay. The only difference is that we would be paying for them up front. So they can get help easier, earlier on. A summary - Morally, what is the right thing to do? Focus on ourselves, our family, our friends? If we have the opportunity to help someone else, shouldn't we? Regardless of religion, political belief, nationality, gender, etc. I would hope that someone would help me, if I needed it.

Maybe a Baby Girl?

So even with the medicine, I'm sick. I did better yesterday, and am feeling okay today, but I was extremely sick the few days before. The same way that I was sick with Avery. I've also noticed that when I'm feeling sick, my cravings (if you could call them cravings; its actually the only food I can tolerate to even think of without vomiting) are cereal, fruit, and skim milk. These are the EXACT same things I wanted with Avery. On top of that, I had a dream last night about the new baby. It was a girl. She was fairer than Avery with lighter hair, and dark brown eyes. She was alert (just like Avery), even as a newborn. But she didn't cry much. As long as this baby is healthy, we'll count our blessings. But I really am hoping for a boy that's easy going, sleeps a lot, and eats a lot (but quickly). We go for our second ultrasound this Tuesday. I don't think we'll get to know the gender until 20 weeks (so I have to wait another 8 weeks), so we've got a lot of time to wait. Luckily, I'm getting busy at work. That helps distract me from the curiosity as well as the constant feeling to throw up. Just to describe the feeling a little - for my recollection, and your knowledge - without medication, I constantly feel hungry, but the thought of ANY food makes me want to puke. I seem okay at holding down liquids. My stomach is starving, and growling loudly and severely for nutrition. Drinking milk can diffuse it, but I must lie down immediately to try to help hold down the milk. I could probably sit down; I just can't be very active right after I've eaten. After you go long enough without eating (on a pregnant tummy, I'd say that's about three hours), you start getting hunger headaches. Between the upset stomach and the headaches, the only thing that brings relief is sleep. Even if you're not tired, just sleep. With medicine, I take a small pill as soon as I'm semi-conscious in the morning. Then I lay back down and let it kick in. An hour or two later, I feel up to getting out of bed, and before anything else, I HAVE to eat. For breakfast, I seem to be able to hold down oatmeal, waffles, cereal, toast, and milk. This is the time of day I feel the most in control (a couple hours after my medicine). Unfortunately, the medicine makes you constipated & gives you headaches, but I'll take those over the alternative. What if I have to go to the restroom, or have a horrible taste in my mouth, and decide to do something like get up & walk around or brush my teeth before I've taken my medicine? Vomit. There's no avoiding it. My current morning routine seems to be the only thing that works right now. Unfortunately, this week, I have to get to the office by 8:30 in the morning and stay until at least 5 pm. This sounds normal for most people, but this means that I need to start waking up around 5:30 so that I can leave the house by 7:30 to take Avery to day care and prepare for my training. If I'm to stay up all day without a nap, I need 8 hours of sleep, so I have to go to bed by 9:30? I'm a little bit worried, and hope I can make it work. In a little over a week, I'll meet with my doctor to go over ultrasound results. We should find out if we're high risk for Down's Syndrome (we were with Avery, so I'm preparing for the worst), and I might beg for stronger medication. Unfortunately, that means even worse headaches & constipation, so we'll see. At this point, I'm right on target for weight gain. I think I'm -1 lb, where with Avery I was down 5-10 lb at this point. So in that aspect, things are looking up. I'll post again when I have the energy or time or ultrasound photos. I hope I'm not bringing anyone down with my symptoms. I just want them better documented, so I'll think twice before planning another baby. I'm pretty sure this will be the last one.